:: my seals, my life ::

I just found out yesterday that i have a new nickname.

Yes, new cause before this new one, Chef Kevin called me cupcake.

Then yesterday as he was passing by my desk, he mentioned somthing to my cousin before the both of them burst into fits of laughter. So i asked, "What's so funny? What did he say?"

Then my cousin informed me that he now calls me Mamam Bear.

Mamam - slang for Eat

Bear - Cute and furry , okie more like cute, furry and BIG.

So i asked him, "Why you call me mamam bear ah?"

To which he replied, "Becoz everytime i turn around and see you, you are always munching on something!"

the mamam bear is coming your way...

Okie, sounds fair enough for now.

A lot of people have teased me about my weight, my size, my body shape, my ill fitting clothes, my spare tyres, my bulging tummy and my constant snacking.

So far... it has not affected me yet. I do feel like shit at times, when i realised that some new (about 2 months old) clothes i bought failed to fit me! The buttons around the chest area don't meet no more! (Yes! My bust size has increased tremendously over the past few years) But the reason is becoz the boobs appeared when the weighing scale started to groan!

It appears the size of boobs has very much to do with the weight you're putting on! (unless you decide to visit Doctor Fix-It and have some slab of jelly inserted into Mounts Venuses)

My reasons for my weight increase could be due to some factors.

1. I call my chauffeur each day to bring me to work as opposed to walking to the mrt station and getting some morning exercise.

2. After marriage, hubby picks me up from work each day (unless i have the car) and i walk only about a total of less than 50 steps to from the car to my home. So, yeah am like a pampered princess.

3. I know this is soooooooo "cerita lama". But i WAS in a touch rugby team. In fact 2! I was playing for the Police and the other for college. I had practices 4 times a week in total. And that might have kept my weight down. And ever since leaving the squad, my butt size grew with age.

4. Being in the events and activities industry, and having a whole department all to yourself, you tend to work late every other night. And that means, i get to leave the office only at about 8ish, 9ish and sumptimes even 10ish. And that is the time i have my dinner. I will be damn hungry that i will gobble down anything and everything that is in front of me. And then you remember the skinny girls at work say, "Don't eat anything after 7 (some say 8) as that is the fastest way to gain weight!" So what am i to do?

5. Munching Mama, Mamam Bear - yes i admit. I love to munch. I get hungry easily. I love ferreros and can eat a whole damn box in a day. My desk used to be a mini pantry. Colleagues who buy food, snacks everyday will shove them right in front of my face knowing i would like some. And i am trying to cut down. So far, i have managed to keep strong and refuse any snacks / cakes / tidbits shoved into my face.

I have always wanted o have an ideal weight. The problem to the butt size is unavoidable as it has always been there. My thighs have been looking like baby elephant seals since god knows when. But i wish, wish i could at least shed off the 1 carton sitting on my tummy (though am not looking towards having a 6 pack), cut down some meat from the thighs, tone up the butt a bit and say goodbye to the flabby arms. (now i wave ala Miss Universe style, with just little twists with the wrists). I know i have been avoiding this myself and keep on telling myself that i am comfortable in my body and people should too and that hubs loves me no matter how i look, (yeah, even like yusni jaffar). But i think it is really time for me to take my weight into consideration.

one of the twin seals that are stuck to the lower half of my body

Not for beauty sake, not because i am vain but more for my health. I climb up to my block of flats each night huffing away. I get leg cramps if i walk to much or when i try to stretch myself on bed. I have a bad back cos due to the size of my butt, my body doesn't lie on a flat plane.

Colleagues (some of them!) have been concerned for my health and my weight and have sent me articles they think can benefit me. Thank you. For now, let's take one step at a time. But, hey, where do i start?!