It's been about two years i think that i have not taken our wonderful public transport system, the Mass Rapid Transit. On wednesday, when i had my first day at skool, i had no choice but to take the train out to Queenstown. Being at the control station was already a little weird for me with hundreds of people milling about, clearing the exit gantries, queueing at the ticket machine and people waiting for their cards to be topped up.
i again had no choice but to buy a standard ticket since i dunt own an ez-link card, albeit one that has been shying away in my old handbag for a good 2 years. I tried first to check the usability of the old card and tried inserting it into the machine. that was when i realised that they now have the "tapper" or the card reader attached below the mouth of the old card entry slot! Wow. so this goondoo here first tried very hard to push the card into the slot before finally giving up and placing it on top of the card reader. Then it prompted me to check the card and to activcate the card i had to actually key in a 4 or 6 digit pin number.
WTH! This was getting too complicated and i opted to buy the single trip ticket (are they still called that?). clicking on my destination,i then inserted the amount of money that would be needed for the machine to cough out my card when i have paid my dues. and after a few seconds, bluueeeeekkkk the card dropped into the same slot that my extra coins coughed out from too. i thought that it would comeout of the card reader slot but it dint. i must have really looked some kind of idiot to the guy standing behind me waiting for his turn.
Aniways, i think i have been too pampered and been too used to having a car and being driven around in cabs that taking the train was not an option for me. I really dunt mind taking the bus though.
Sitting in the train, i began to ask myself why i felt this way. And a huge reason has to be appearance / outlook / how i am dressed. Driving around made me feel comfortable as i can get to the place i want to be at my own pace, without having to stand and shove people around, get pissed and kiasu singaporeans who push their way into and out of the train and most importantly for me to check myself in the mirror, do a little touch up before i go for an appointment. I dunt care how my tummy just spills out and screams for release against the seat belt while being in a train / public transport, i have to ensure that i am pleasant enough to face society. To be scrutinized, analysed and judged by hundreds of people we pass by before we get to our destination. Perhaps it is a little too much to think about but that was what i felt about it. I feared meeting old friends or people i know and hear negative comments or passing comments about how i look, or ask me what is going on in my life now, or how i have put on soooo much of weight after marriage and whether i already have kids etc etc etc. This somehow does bother me. But as i walked down the platform at woodlands mrt, kept silent when people were shoving themselves in and out of the train, stood in the middle of the cabin, i realised that it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.
People are so tired from work / skool that they dont bat an eyelid to whoever who walks in. And there are people who dress crapily even on public transport and they dont seem to give a shit about how they looked like, then why should i! I am who i am, i have been putting on the pounds, my skin isnt as clean and clear as it used to be years ago, i have since grown a double chin to accompany my original chin, my butt grew sideways and my tummy grew forward. But i now have nice fingernails! So what! So what of i am being judged silently by that skinny, scrawny office clothes wearing, super bad hair do, crappy fashion sense minah standing at the other corner, i am doing the same thing that i am afraid of people doing to me, to her! So be it! and then i get comfortable! (although i had to stand througout my journey) But it was a real eye opener. I have not seen sooooo much people in such a long time, seeing nice welcoming scenery from the train, and getting whiffs of how singaporeans smell. :P
I am definitely looking forward to my next rain ride!
1 comment:
two words... ha ha.
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